state of mind

people come and people go. it's ironic hoping and expecting someone to be around for so long (because at that time, you think you guys get along so well and are so alike), and then all of a sudden, you've lost touch with that person within an instant, mentally & physically. i think that's one of the most important things we need to learn in life- acceptance. some of us always get what we want and have it until we don't want it anymore. with others, trial and error takes place. they simply see if it works, and if it doesn't, then they accept it and move on with their lives. of course, it's very hard to say goodbye whether or not we were given a chance to do so. it's even harder not having any type of closure, because it gnaws at you. you question yourself what the hell you did, or what the hell that person did in order for them to stray away from you in such a short time--- and those questions are never answered.

acceptance has become a huge part of my life THROUGHOUT my life. i think that's why i laugh so much because depressing over things that don't turn out the way i want it is just stupid. live and learn, baby. live and learn.

it all happened so fast

at this point, i don't really know what to say or how to react. it doesn't really phase me though. i honestly am happy that it ended to be this way.. if this really is the end. i am not trying to be in the way of anything, and if that is what others thought i was intending to do, then i really shouldn't be around in the first place. i don't need consulting, or attention, or anything of that sort. i just want to be respected. i don't want those looks. i don't want anything from you. i'd rather it be this way.


and to every closed door, then there is always a new one that opens. in this case, a door just RE-opened. i really should have seen this one coming.

busy, busy, busy

my weekends are so fast-paced. i'm losing grip of my social life more and more, then i get it back on the weekdays. my day off tomorrow at last, but i have lots and lots of hw to catch up on. ate's in town right now, unexpectedly. but a great surprise for sure =). even though we barely got to see each other cause of me working and all in the past 48 hours, it's nice to have her presence five feet away from me (as she plays the wii). haha. i'm glad =). i'm trying my best to stay up tonight and at the same time go to class at 8:30 am and actually last during my journalism lecture, ridiculous math lecture, and dragging theatre class. i'll die. but shit, there's nothing coffee can't cure. haaaay.




i've been getting better with the whole issue. it's funny how months ago i couldn't even picture myself in such an awkward situation. but whatever. i'll manage like i always do..